This Day Is

I suppose I will always feel this way. How can I not. Its what I prefer. The pain and suffering. Its easier to deal with. What beauty is there in sorrow. What joy be there in trials. Oh so pleasurable be the torture that never ends in the life that has nothing but abuse. I suppose I continue to have this view so I never have to be in disappointment of the fact my life isnt worth the happiness. No matter how much or hard I strive.