Hidden Away Forever

My sanctuary. Does it exist? Am I really here? Am I truly alive? I am so incredibly afraid I have lost feelings, emotions. I cannot trust. I can't go out. I can't be with people. So it doesn't hurt anymore. So I cant be hurt. I will curl up and remain here, hidden away from the world. I have nothing to offer. No purpose anyway. I am a phantom on this page you read. Not being at all. A ghost who slowly fades away with each second as it passes by. Be happy you are alive. Be happy the sun shines on you. Be happy you exist. You do have a purpose, even if I don't. You are loved, even though I am not. You have hope, where I have none. Be love, for I know where it is there is none. How can you dream with a mind full of nightmares? Keep going......even if I can't....I am so afraid right now. It will happen again, that's all I can see. I can't, not again, not ever, again...