Being Past Times

Past time. Past times. Adding one, little letter can sure change a phrases mean so very much. Both things however, are things that trouble me. The time that has past, well, has been rough. It's so hard to read this help and survivor books, cause for the most part it's one or maybe several events. Not a lifetime. From the beginning. I feel like I should read books on survivors from war torn countries or something. I feel like I could relate better. Most of these help book talk about get over "experiences", not a "life" you had. Hm, I think I will. I'll have to do some research and see if I can find some strong biographies. As for my past times, they have come undone and I am in a renewal of myself. I don't really know who I am or what it even means to be me. Things I once loved so deeply now bring pain. Heartache. I'll just march on. I do feel better today, by the way. I woke up smiling. And hoping and all that other weird stuff. Not bad after yesterday. And that scary dream I had about blood and chasing and zombies and death and taaallll buildings. Yea, I think I'm a little better. I suppose a little is better then nothing.

I Love Food

I truly do. More then most things, not all, but most. Sadly, however, it has no love for me. Sigh. My favorites are repulsed by me. Pizza. Steak. Hamburgers. Hot dogs. Lasagna. Ahhh god, I love cheese, and milk, and meat, specifically cow. Sigh. Nope. They hate me. So now I have to be a vegan/vegetarian. It really isn't that bad. Actually some of the best things I have ever eaten. Except that steak I had in New Zealand, that was immaculate. De-lish. Sometimes the oily stuff is nice. Like, um, ooo funnel cake. I am soooooo in love with that yummy stuff. Oh, well maybe someday if a grow another gullbladder. And they say you don't need the damn thing, yeah right, try telling my body that. It's ok, I will divulge in the delicacy of the vegan world.