This Time Away

I haven't spent much time near the tech world lately, simply because I wanted to focus. I feel it a dire distraction from the need of peace I find myself searching for. It has been a mind boggling concept for me, striving for inner peace, yet here I sit typing away my truths. It bewilders me to know only a few months ago I had been saved from slashing away at my body. That I have gone from needing to take the very breath from my lungs to taking in long deep breathes of the delightful ocean breezes that I daily encounter. I find myself striving for...hope, a word a dare not add to my bitter vocabulary. All this from the bloom flower of love from my dear, sweet Sora. How passionate his love is for my very existence, my blood flow is precious to him as fine jewels. He has given me more love, compassion, care then I thought could ever be graced upon my sorrowful heart. Yes, I sit here finding myself longing for a future I did not want to exist in months past. So much has changed. I have been given the chance to live like I never, ever have before. His unconditional and non-judgmental ways have left me speechless and long for more of the warm gifted in his strong embrace. So now that I have had way to much time to just think, I sit and contemplate my purpose along with the reasons for my trials and sufferings. A long road I have traveled for the soul purpose of loving other, now I walk a path of self love to envelope my world with. I am learning to be at peace with my. To let the raging storms of each emotion play out then reap from them bountiful harvest of rich character. I will know myself by what I am through all that was for the simple, yet immaculate, reason of loving.

Be Mine Valentine

What a day. A day I actually use to be against. Even now as I have someone to hold me on this culturally corrupt day of love, I am not so found of it. To many people make such a big deal out of it. Why can't we just make each day a big deal. If you are going to claim love of a person in your life, treat them that way everyday. If you think your are to busy to do such, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship. A person is a life and if they are precious to you, damn it make it known all the time. Life is to short, to hard not to. Why do you think people separate? Why do we loose people? Because we are to selfish to share our lives, our time. When you have a relationship, any relationship, and you are in it just for yourself then you aren't really in a relationship. Life is a treasure that we all take for granted way to often. Life sucks because you didn't take the time to love sacrificially. And you didn't take that heart and hold it gently. We keep going like the world lives for us, revolves around everything we are. That's crap. We only become important when realize everything we have can be taken away. We are so close to loosing what should makes us smile everyday. Even after those times when you hate life. We want to strive to create the hope, the love, the change. Its a god damn action. Your words mean nothing if you don't live up to them. To be loved you have to realize no one has to, but wants to. You have to want to love that person. To work hard to keep them close. It doesn't just happen cause we want it to. Fairy-tail love is fucking hard work. Its only magical after fight the dragon. And there are many dragons. One is so often ourselves. We have to fight the self that gives in to the crimes against true and unadulterated love. You can't expect it to be real, you'll be sadly disappointed. If you don't fight, you don't deserve it. It have to show you want it, that you want that person. Stop breaking thinks. Stop creating so much pain that the next person gets fucked up when they try to love. We have to make the choice to be selfless. To care enough about the other person more then our own breath. Be willing to die. Be willing to live. Be willing above all else that we do truly love.