Life Not Lived

I never wanted to live this long. I believed when I was young, I truly believed, that I would be dead by thirty. I had thought there might have been people would care if I no longer existed. As I have grown that belief in people has just about vanished. We've all had it, that experience, some worse then others, the disappointment. Sometimes its is so god damned painful you can feel it in your heart, forever, for life. I believe you will even be cursed in the afterlife with the sorrow. So many times. So often the pain. I fight to die. What is there to live for?