We Went Shopping

I hate it. I love it. It tires me so. As does it him. The people. The aesthetics. I become so overwhelmed by all the.....stuff. But I have this little thing were I really do like to buy things, specific things. I don't just like buying. I have goals. Items in which I have found a desire to own. Which I find weird. Cause I do not like wanting. I feel it a sin to want anything. There are so many who have nothing. Sigh. I've been there. Having nothing. I am sooooo there mentally and spiritually. I am completely empty. I feel like shopping helps sometimes. I feel worth something when I spend money. Well even more so when he spends it on me. Mm. Sigh but I feel guilty all the time. I'm glad we don't do it often. I much rather enjoy our cuddle time. He is so incredible at it. I got lost in him, my teddy bear.

A Happy Day

So today was great. Its weird to say such things because its rare. Or at least it seems hard to enjoy days at all. But my love has made it possible. Yes, my sweet darling dear! I feel sad to say that retail therapy is a fashionable cure to my wallowing sorrows. And a huge plus was that I am able to be with my love, just my love. Even when surrounded by hundreds of people. Sigh. Yes, however will I live? What shall I be? No Life to live without thee...Even in my despair I am a hopeless romantic and I need him, and only him, more then air.