Being To Numb

To know that being broken doesn't matter at all. That if I died today, took my life with my own hands, it would mean nothing. No one would try and stop me. It wouldn't matter if I was gone. My path has made do marking on all the hearts I've loved. Just an empty vessel sinking, deep into despair. I can't find the meaning or purpose of this heart. I suppose I agree with that song in the fact that it is only meant for breaking. To be in many pieces, soon taking this life apart. Why do I ever hope for a new beginning? Or a life that I may live? Or hope in any matter at all? Why dream of peace when death is so much sweeter? My life is but a speck, worth nothing at all. Sigh. If only my sweet, beloved Sora didn't care, or love me so much, It would end today. I would end today. Maybe tomorrow then. Maybe...

A Happy Day

So today was great. Its weird to say such things because its rare. Or at least it seems hard to enjoy days at all. But my love has made it possible. Yes, my sweet darling dear! I feel sad to say that retail therapy is a fashionable cure to my wallowing sorrows. And a huge plus was that I am able to be with my love, just my love. Even when surrounded by hundreds of people. Sigh. Yes, however will I live? What shall I be? No Life to live without thee...Even in my despair I am a hopeless romantic and I need him, and only him, more then air.