A warrior. Fighting for the truth. Fighting for true love. Sigh, awwwawwwwwwwwww, I am so in love it's silly. Hee, hee. I am so proud to be married to just a great man, a gentleman. Hmm, sigh. He does make my life a better place to be. I am a lover. Of my beloveds soul. Heart. Spirit. It is an amazing sight to see. We are doing what we can to be who we are. True love.
I have discovered so much about myself in the last year. It has been really great. To be me, and be happy about that. I can never imagine being some one else. I especially cannot see my self with anyone else, they just could never measure up.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Please Take Two
Take two minutes everyday
For freedom and liberty
For every man and woman
who have GIVEN THEIR LIVES in these pursuits through the centuries and across
the world
Remember in silence their deaths given, freely, but with
such a hi high price
American Revolution War – 50,000+
French-American War – 556+
War of 1812 – 25,000+
American Civil War – 646,392+
Spanish-American War – 4,068+
World War I – 320,518+ [missing3,350+]
World War II – 1,076,245+ [30,314+]
Korean War – 128,650+ [4,756+]
Vietnam War – Cold war – 211,454+ [2,489]
War on Terror – 96,860+
1775-present death total of American fighters= 2,722,991*
[*including multiple Indian/Island/Expeditions/Other
nations -/Wars 0f 1813-1848]
Take two minutes
every day for the DEATHS of World
Earthly Disaster
Indonesia Tsunami - 230,273–310,000
Haiti Earthquake - 316,000
Burma Cyclones - 138,366
Katrina – 1,836
…and so many more
Take two
minutes every day for all those who DIE from Famine every day
Who starve to death,
everyday
25,000 People Every Day
1 in 6 Americans
Take two
minutes every day for all those who DIE from Aids every day
1.5 million Every year
At least 4110 every day
One Every 20 Seconds
Take two
minutes every day for all those who DIE from Malaria every day
About 1 million every year
%90 of them in Africa
Take two
minutes every day for all those who DIE from Poverty Every day
People Die of Disease and
Hunger and
Could be fed
Saved
Cost 195 billion a year
That is a about $30 a
month per person
A Dollar a day to
Feed, Medicate, Clothe,
and Educate
All people who need it
worldwide
Take two
minutes every day for all those Modern
Slaves every day
Worldwide
12 – 27 million Worldwide
are slaves
Today
2.45 million people are
being trafficked in the world at any given moment
half of those being
trafficked are for commercial sex exploitation
Take two
minutes every day for all those who DIE from Suicide Every day
About 300,000 worldwide
30,000 or so are within the
US
750,000 or so Americans
attempt suicide every year
About 82 a day complete
that attempt
Take two
minutes every day for all those who must DEAL with repercussions on Rape/Sexual Assault every day in the US
207,754 victims (age 12 or
older) of rape and sexual assault each year
That are report in the US
1 sexual assault every 152
seconds, or about 1 every 2 minutes.
2 minutes
That last for a lifetime
Take two
minutes every day for all those who SUFFER from a Mental Illness, including Eating disorders
estimated 26.2 percent of
Americans ages 18 and older, about one in four adults, suffer from a
diagnosable mental disorder a year
57.7 million People
In the US
1 in 17, suffer from a
serious mental illness
Take at least 20 minutes everything to think
about others
Give silence and respect
for those who die and suffer
And ask yourself
Who am I and what am I
doing?
Don’t compare
Just
REMEMBER
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Justice In Death
As I travel through this predicament, this pain, I have beliefs. An understanding, of myself.
I am weak.
If I can't make it through this, if I die, killed by another, if my body can't take it any longer, if I take my own life, or when, I hope it will be a truth told to the world....
How the justice system can turn on a victim
How cruel they can be.
How they can blame me for what was forced upon me. The horrible things I was made to do.
The shame I am made to endure...all for the sake of others.
To protect those who came to hate me because of the monster who consumed me, body and soul. Took everything from me, and continues to try.
I want my death to proclaim the injustice given to victims world wide.
Mostly the women of the world, but also those men who where forced to endure horrible things.
When the wombs that carry the life of the world are tortured and treated as objects, as things, then the entire world suffers. This is a truth we cannot escape.
But why should be made to continue on in this life with these disgusting memories? Why should I have to pay the price, again, for the crimes of another?
I am tortured daily by the reminder of what I was made to do...just, so others would not suffer as I had, so that others would not die, so that those I loved would not be harmed.
Now I sit here dying because my body rejects everything that had been forced upon it. Can I ever live a normal life? Can I live?
I believe that answer to be know. Now one should be punished for the disgusting things that have been forced upon me.
The Pain.
The shame.
The horror.
And the fact that if I die, in a way they do win, but maybe other's will be saved, will be heard.
Because while I lived many did not listen.
They let it happen.
They punished me for the pain I was suffering.
They let it happen. And made me pay for it.
What is the point..........
There is no such thing as justice.....
I am weak.
If I can't make it through this, if I die, killed by another, if my body can't take it any longer, if I take my own life, or when, I hope it will be a truth told to the world....
How the justice system can turn on a victim
How cruel they can be.
How they can blame me for what was forced upon me. The horrible things I was made to do.
The shame I am made to endure...all for the sake of others.
To protect those who came to hate me because of the monster who consumed me, body and soul. Took everything from me, and continues to try.
I want my death to proclaim the injustice given to victims world wide.
Mostly the women of the world, but also those men who where forced to endure horrible things.
When the wombs that carry the life of the world are tortured and treated as objects, as things, then the entire world suffers. This is a truth we cannot escape.
But why should be made to continue on in this life with these disgusting memories? Why should I have to pay the price, again, for the crimes of another?
I am tortured daily by the reminder of what I was made to do...just, so others would not suffer as I had, so that others would not die, so that those I loved would not be harmed.
Now I sit here dying because my body rejects everything that had been forced upon it. Can I ever live a normal life? Can I live?
I believe that answer to be know. Now one should be punished for the disgusting things that have been forced upon me.
The Pain.
The shame.
The horror.
And the fact that if I die, in a way they do win, but maybe other's will be saved, will be heard.
Because while I lived many did not listen.
They let it happen.
They punished me for the pain I was suffering.
They let it happen. And made me pay for it.
What is the point..........
There is no such thing as justice.....
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Happy Engagement Day
As it comes to an end. As the day closes and opens to a new one. As we pass on this day of celebration of so many wonderful years promised to each other, my beloved and I. We are forever, we are one, till the end.
Airing Of Grievances
I could say there is much for me to feel ill about. So much pain. Sigh. But I can't feel angry. I think I was for bits, and some times for pieces, but never wholly or continually. I just cannot feel that way. I feel sorrow, overbearing sorrow. Sadness. So much. It is to much. Weighing me down. I feel like crying out my tears and my fears for all the world to hear, alas they will fall on def ears. Like they have for all my life. And now I sit alone, wanting nothing to do with this world, ever again. So much easier to just hide away. To die. Sigh. I just can't take all this horror in my head. Repeating over and over everything, so disgusting. And people dare to label that love. If that is so...i don't want it.....so in this i will....grieve....
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Hear My Complaint
No one wants to hear you complain, to hear your words, or understand there pain.
I can understand a Boundry, a line that shouldn't be crossed.
But if I have no one tot turn to when I need to talk...well then what do I do?
You not listening tells me I'm not worth it, that you have better things to attend to. That my place on this earth isn't worth considering. That my feelings and emotions are trash in this world of garbage that you just do not want to touch.
Who do I have if I am alone?
Honestly, I believe we are not meant to be alone. If we were, why are there so many of us? And if only certain people are precious, why were the rest of us born? If only a few are meant to be saved. Why bother at all with that claim, all are loved? Its a lie. It's a crime. Shameful to believe I am worth breathing at all.
You have left me speechless, because why speak if I will never be heard. Why be honest if it only hurts? You never care so then what happens...
People who are not heard find away...through pain...through suffering.....through burns....When people hurt, if not cared for, will hurt others, or themselves.
I hurt myself.
I am alone.
I don't matter.
I never did.
Did I?
All I ever wanted to was to let the world know they are loved....and all it did in return was kick me away, breaking me into pieces, and shattering my life to nothing.
If no one is willing to listen, even when I do, I always did, I was always there, no matter at what cost to me...but no, not for me. I am nothing and no one will listen to nothing....
I can understand a Boundry, a line that shouldn't be crossed.
But if I have no one tot turn to when I need to talk...well then what do I do?
You not listening tells me I'm not worth it, that you have better things to attend to. That my place on this earth isn't worth considering. That my feelings and emotions are trash in this world of garbage that you just do not want to touch.
Who do I have if I am alone?
Honestly, I believe we are not meant to be alone. If we were, why are there so many of us? And if only certain people are precious, why were the rest of us born? If only a few are meant to be saved. Why bother at all with that claim, all are loved? Its a lie. It's a crime. Shameful to believe I am worth breathing at all.
You have left me speechless, because why speak if I will never be heard. Why be honest if it only hurts? You never care so then what happens...
People who are not heard find away...through pain...through suffering.....through burns....When people hurt, if not cared for, will hurt others, or themselves.
I hurt myself.
I am alone.
I don't matter.
I never did.
Did I?
All I ever wanted to was to let the world know they are loved....and all it did in return was kick me away, breaking me into pieces, and shattering my life to nothing.
If no one is willing to listen, even when I do, I always did, I was always there, no matter at what cost to me...but no, not for me. I am nothing and no one will listen to nothing....
Life Is Death
There is this rotting pain, deep in my stomach. Churning, burning, fuming...disgusting. I feel hurt. I feel hate. I feel...to much. I feel numb.
The memories burned in to the back of my eye lids that haunt me in my sleep. But darkness fills my days. My mind can't make sense of it all, sadly, my body does. The reactions of actions taken so long ago, or maybe not that long ago.
Some children were killed today. By a very broken person. They morn for the children. I can see why. I wish I could be one of them...so I would have to deal with the shit I've been through. So I could be set free. But yeah, morn for them. I suppose I do. Innocence lost. Souls who watched, burdened, forever, Stained. This society doesn't care enough about the things that could help this...no we talk about guns and rights. That man had a right. Not to kill. Not to hurt. That is never a right. Taking a life is a heavy burden, any one who can so willing rip life away, well, there are consequences for them.
Life should be seen as precious. He was broken, and not enough was done to save that man...who could have saved all those children...
But what does this society care about other peoples "issues". Nothing, right?
Mental health is a big deal. But we don't make it that. Violence. We accept it, unless it happens in real life or to us. We are a sick country. It isn't about the guns. It isn't about our rights. It is about our communities and our health. Two things that have slid dip into the ditch where no one cares to look or dig it up out of. This will continue to happen. People will die in awful ways.
People will kill themselves.
People will treat others like shit.
Because...we have lost our morals.
We have lost it all.
Because we are not as caring a community as we claim. Or today wouldn't have happened. Stress is a killer, and it doesn't care who it takes down or how many. Evil lurks in the sweetest of places.
Those of us who have to sit and morn alone, for the prices we've had to pay for evil, for the crimes silently made against us. The nation will never know. They will never, ever care. If anything I suffer more because, why, well it isn't ever simple. Wicked people are broken people. People society pushes aside, ignores them and hopes they will go away.
You as a society created this. and you know it.
There are worse things that happen every day and we can't scream loud enough for anyone to care, especially never morn, for the things we have lost and will never, ever get back.
I am a sad lonely creature who will probably die alone. But so what. No one will morn for me.
Something I am to slowly coming to terms with.
I once was so in love with love, and service and hope, and joy, and life....but they stole that and now I seem nothing more then an old bitter crone....so sad,
The memories burned in to the back of my eye lids that haunt me in my sleep. But darkness fills my days. My mind can't make sense of it all, sadly, my body does. The reactions of actions taken so long ago, or maybe not that long ago.
Some children were killed today. By a very broken person. They morn for the children. I can see why. I wish I could be one of them...so I would have to deal with the shit I've been through. So I could be set free. But yeah, morn for them. I suppose I do. Innocence lost. Souls who watched, burdened, forever, Stained. This society doesn't care enough about the things that could help this...no we talk about guns and rights. That man had a right. Not to kill. Not to hurt. That is never a right. Taking a life is a heavy burden, any one who can so willing rip life away, well, there are consequences for them.
Life should be seen as precious. He was broken, and not enough was done to save that man...who could have saved all those children...
But what does this society care about other peoples "issues". Nothing, right?
Mental health is a big deal. But we don't make it that. Violence. We accept it, unless it happens in real life or to us. We are a sick country. It isn't about the guns. It isn't about our rights. It is about our communities and our health. Two things that have slid dip into the ditch where no one cares to look or dig it up out of. This will continue to happen. People will die in awful ways.
People will kill themselves.
People will treat others like shit.
Because...we have lost our morals.
We have lost it all.
Because we are not as caring a community as we claim. Or today wouldn't have happened. Stress is a killer, and it doesn't care who it takes down or how many. Evil lurks in the sweetest of places.
Those of us who have to sit and morn alone, for the prices we've had to pay for evil, for the crimes silently made against us. The nation will never know. They will never, ever care. If anything I suffer more because, why, well it isn't ever simple. Wicked people are broken people. People society pushes aside, ignores them and hopes they will go away.
You as a society created this. and you know it.
There are worse things that happen every day and we can't scream loud enough for anyone to care, especially never morn, for the things we have lost and will never, ever get back.
I am a sad lonely creature who will probably die alone. But so what. No one will morn for me.
Something I am to slowly coming to terms with.
I once was so in love with love, and service and hope, and joy, and life....but they stole that and now I seem nothing more then an old bitter crone....so sad,
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