Life On Pause

Today I had to face a feeling I have felt so very often. Emptiness. It comes from the not truly being able to face the fact that I am changed, different. That the life I was will never ever be. I am so saddened by this fact. It seems so terrible. And all that is left behind. No one can ever truly understand. I am scared to start over. He gives me courage to try, to try for a future. I feel as if I can't go forward. But in actuality this is a repeat of my past. Trusting those who couldn't be trusted. Loving those who didn't deserve or want my heart. I have repeatedly given myself over to broken hearts to shatter what small pieces of my soul remained from the times before. There some things time can heal. I have over come much. But there are several things that seem as if they shall forever remain.