You Treat Her

I love twitter, so to speak, as much as you can love a spacial thing without it be any true form of love, it keeps my mind simplified. It is the easiest way for me to swallow the news without becoming more depressed or frightened. I like reading the quotes, making me thing, observe, consider my life in these words. There is this one I have seen often and written several variations, however, simply it goes as such: Her attitude is based on how YOU treat her. I believe to be a true statement, or so I thought. Then I realized that agreement is recent, very so. I use to have an attitude of compassion no matter how I was being treated. So for me this statement has been so very false it is pathetic in my head, or maybe it was an ok response. I always just wanted to love people, show them they are worth life, living, good things. But I never believed that about myself. My attitude had always been set on the needs of others, even through my abuse, I never blamed the abuser, I was just weak, or maybe that was the only way I would ever feel love, was through pain. I just needed to sacrifice everything I was, so others can be happy. Reading this quote I have come to realize how deformed my idea of self-care had become, how much I thought I was worth very little if not nothing at all.