Fighting In Darkness

Tonight, I sit alone discovering myself. I fight the dark thoughts of death and self-hatred with fantasies of others creation. The delight of a heartfelt story to drown out my despairs in reminiscent emotions. I look back at my life as a child flipping through a picture book. The images of what has passed haunt me like cruel poltergeist, taunting my soul. The pain rages within in me some days, some night, quieted only by the man that chooses to continue to love me unconditionally. He strives for me to just live. Is it true that now I may have a future? That everything that was once so consistent will no longer come to pass? I believe I may be hoping this to be true, for the first time. My man is becoming the greatest of them all. Fighting for me, like any real man should for the beloved. How sweet and strong he is. Holding so tightly to the weak life I am. So as I sit here pondering what the future may hold, I wish to dream of the future we are.

Be Mine Valentine

What a day. A day I actually use to be against. Even now as I have someone to hold me on this culturally corrupt day of love, I am not so found of it. To many people make such a big deal out of it. Why can't we just make each day a big deal. If you are going to claim love of a person in your life, treat them that way everyday. If you think your are to busy to do such, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship. A person is a life and if they are precious to you, damn it make it known all the time. Life is to short, to hard not to. Why do you think people separate? Why do we loose people? Because we are to selfish to share our lives, our time. When you have a relationship, any relationship, and you are in it just for yourself then you aren't really in a relationship. Life is a treasure that we all take for granted way to often. Life sucks because you didn't take the time to love sacrificially. And you didn't take that heart and hold it gently. We keep going like the world lives for us, revolves around everything we are. That's crap. We only become important when realize everything we have can be taken away. We are so close to loosing what should makes us smile everyday. Even after those times when you hate life. We want to strive to create the hope, the love, the change. Its a god damn action. Your words mean nothing if you don't live up to them. To be loved you have to realize no one has to, but wants to. You have to want to love that person. To work hard to keep them close. It doesn't just happen cause we want it to. Fairy-tail love is fucking hard work. Its only magical after fight the dragon. And there are many dragons. One is so often ourselves. We have to fight the self that gives in to the crimes against true and unadulterated love. You can't expect it to be real, you'll be sadly disappointed. If you don't fight, you don't deserve it. It have to show you want it, that you want that person. Stop breaking thinks. Stop creating so much pain that the next person gets fucked up when they try to love. We have to make the choice to be selfless. To care enough about the other person more then our own breath. Be willing to die. Be willing to live. Be willing above all else that we do truly love.