Thinking In Future

So weird thoughts lately, I realization I suppose to be more accurate. I have always thought about what I wanted, dreamed about future things but I have never actually planned they would happen. Honestly i never planned to live this long. I was sure I would of died or killed myself. I was close. However, spending all this amazing time with my beloved, I have for the first time seen a light in my future. It amazes me the greatness of his love that has continually shown to me unconditionally, well the only condition is that I remain alive. I have never experience such a thing from anyone. I had always hoped such a love existed. I had believed for so long in a religion that I believed to hold such a key. Of course that dreams was shattered of the wait of lies and deception crushed everything I was for so many long years. Now I have been given a life, through everything he has given me. I am wary of clinging to any human still. I still have this concept I fight with in my head about my uselessness, my wretchedness. But, god, how I love this man who has continued to rescue me from the clutches of the sad, pathetic past of mine. Now I begin to write down plans for an amazing adventure everyday with him. He works so hard for us, he is only human but he works so damn hard for something that I have not been able to truly believe. It has been something at the core what I dearly believe for every cognitive moment of my being. The words that he expresses are so clearly shown in his actions, making want to share the world with him in every way I possibly can. Oh to think the places we will go, the things we will see around the world. Traveling to far away places of beauty and realities unknown to us in the shelters place of these states. The hope of owning a little place not far from the cost to call our own. I would always talk about it out of routine lines along which path a life should being taking in their next steps. These days have been an entirely new experience in this area of the future. I actually have hope. Making me smile deep inside, knowing that this is the best revenge I could lay out for those wretches who've thought they blackened my life. You fucked up my past but hell if I'm letting you have anything to do with my future.