Hating My Nightmares

I take medications to quiet them and still, they find ways o haunt me. To get into my head. My scramble the reception of a clean mind. Mumble, mumble. haha. I hate those nightmares. Especially the ones with those demons. The ones that chase me. The ones that did the most in human things possible. Making me feel the worthlessness I am. It seems to seep into every pore, and nothing I can do makes it go away, I can't even wash enough. eventually it fades to a mild ping, a small thought, a distant memory. What a curse. What a fear. Ha, who knew caring for people could be such a crime. Loving the broken really does get you crucified. I am no saviour. I am a sad, worthless creature who cannot find any purpose more then that of pain. Maybe I need stronger medication...

Being To Numb

To know that being broken doesn't matter at all. That if I died today, took my life with my own hands, it would mean nothing. No one would try and stop me. It wouldn't matter if I was gone. My path has made do marking on all the hearts I've loved. Just an empty vessel sinking, deep into despair. I can't find the meaning or purpose of this heart. I suppose I agree with that song in the fact that it is only meant for breaking. To be in many pieces, soon taking this life apart. Why do I ever hope for a new beginning? Or a life that I may live? Or hope in any matter at all? Why dream of peace when death is so much sweeter? My life is but a speck, worth nothing at all. Sigh. If only my sweet, beloved Sora didn't care, or love me so much, It would end today. I would end today. Maybe tomorrow then. Maybe...