What I Am

A warrior. Fighting for the truth. Fighting for true love. Sigh, awwwawwwwwwwwww, I am so in love it's silly. Hee, hee. I am so proud to be married to just a great man, a gentleman. Hmm, sigh. He does make my life a better place to be. I am a lover. Of my beloveds soul. Heart. Spirit. It is an amazing sight to see. We are doing what we can to be who we are. True love.
I have discovered so much about myself in the last year. It has been really great. To be me, and be happy about that. I can never imagine being some one else. I especially cannot see my self with anyone else, they just could never measure up.

The People Know

It amuses me, of the reality being expressed by people hundreds of miles away, who I haven't seen in so long, who, at some points, I haven't spoken to in what seems like for ever, know. That they can know how much we are in love with each other. People who can confirm the truth, the truth that so many others try to get me to doubt. What kind of person I am. Who we are to each other, always have been. I believe we were born to be each others. Sakura and Sora forever. They know that just through my voice, through our experiences, how much love we have for each other. Unending. Unconditional. It blows my mind that so many different souls, form different places, from different walks of life, can all come to the same conclusion. Free thinkers knowing a truth about a two single, yet combined, human beings. It is like magic that cannot be explained. He never gave up on me, even when I was so ready. He never, ever, left my heart and soul alone. Thank you, those of you who have proven me wrong and believed in this love. In my love. For exposing my doubts and giving me a small seed of hope...

Asking The Why

How long must you be lost before some one comes calling?
When is it do they actually care?
The lies that filled the air to procure the satisfaction of your need. Infested the ears of all that must hear. The song of you silver tong threading the wicked path you chose to take, leaving me in your wake.
You never cared.
It was all a lie.
I believed it could change.
I believed all people were nice, somewhere inside. We could all find that kindness to share with the world. Not be another vulture, a leech to suck the life out of the world.
I want more. I want there to be hope. A future. Truth. Above all truth.
Fear kept me from being. Fear starved me of life. Terror ceased joy of any kind, wringing the life from it. No hope but death. My only friend. So many times I wish you had finished what you had started those evil days. Taken my broken life and shattered its frame. I wish I would have not been stopped. I wish I had not been saved. I wish I could have been set free from the prison you lock me in. Unwilling. Unprotected. A tool. A toy. I am just nothing. I never was. I wish I could be set free from the binding you put on me.
I wish.
I had never been born to be in this world. To feel the taint. To be a waste of breathing space. I know I am lame, but this is all I have. I am to afraid to be anywhere else. People....scare me. I cannot express the fear that has been imprinted upon my broken heart. You hurt me, and you never cared.
After all I sacrificed and this how I am repaid...with brutality. Is that love? To be abused after you give, and love, and encourage, and whatever else it takes to make people happy, hopeful, cared for, loved...is this all there is to look forward to....